Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on
the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never
seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit
into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the
tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were
you."
"Why not?"
"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw
the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid
hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and
was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the
side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the
basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty
and began to cry.
A blonde driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the
road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was
wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed
it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"
The blonde told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to
her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead
Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the
spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the
road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on
down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved
again!
The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your
spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The blonde turned
the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray.
Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
Rectum Deodorant
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some
rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they
don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff
from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any!"
"But I always buy it here," says the blonde "Do you have the container that it
came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it
and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the
container.........
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."