Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began "unexpected offspring processing" that took
up a lot of space and valuable resources In addition, Wife 1.0
installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other
system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing
7.5, Auto Racing 3.6 no longer run, and Sunday Sports TV 6.5 will not
even load, plus the whole system now crashes with some regularity. I
cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
or even view my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall on Wife 1.0 does not seem to work.
Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.
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REPLY:
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Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people
upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend
7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the
system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife
1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and
work on improving the situation. It could be said that Wife 1.0 is a
virus by its nature, though there is no anecdotal evidence that this is
anything other than a rumor.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate
software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command
C: \ APOLOGIZE.EXE Ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE
command before the system will return to anywhere near normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
It comes with several support programs, such as: Clean and Sweep 3.0,
Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. (There is also a rumor that Wife 1.0
includes a pleasure program. It is possible that it was included in the
demo version, but there is no mention of that in any documentation found
on the system after full install.) However, be very careful how you use
these included programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch
the program Nag Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional (i.e. expensive)
software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Be warned that once
you start using these two programs they will be expected to be run on a
regular basis. This will add to the annual maintenance costs of Wife 1.0.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3, or the equally dangerous Secretary with the Big Bust 44D
These applications are not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system that will only add to your
annual maintenance costs.
Best of luck,
Tech Support